One hundred years from now industry has become totally automated resulting in mass unemployment (or should that be 'pandemic' seeing as we already have 'mass'). Anyway, in 2093 we find everyone is using their increased leisure time to sit in front of the telly and watch a programme called Mean Arenas.
Buzz: "Welcome sports fans to the latest action packed edition of Mean Arenas. I'm Buzz McCloud and along me is Bob Bilinski. Well Bob, have we got a show for the folks sitting back at home".
Bob: "Yes Buzz, we have got a show. It is called Mean Arenas, you've just told everyone".
Buzz: "OK, don't get smart with me son or I'll haul your ass back to Come Dancing faster than you can say Crackerjack".
Bob: "Sure thing Buzz. Buzz's right folks, we have got a show for you. It's kind of a cross between PacMan and Smash TV with a bit of Dynablaster thrown in for good measure. You, the ordinary members of the public come on down and play for big prizes. But remember, it is risky out there and if you do not make it, you are gonna, heh, he, die".
Buzz: "Folks, Bob has hit the nail right on the head. Death is the consequence of losing, but it is not that bad a scenario. Heck, at least we do not send you home with a goddamn blankey Blank checkbook and pen".
Bob: "So come on Buzz, tell the folks what the game is all about".
Buzz: "Listen son, I'm the anchor. Don't tell me what to do. Folks, the object of the game is to make your way around the arena collecting coins as well as a whole host of other bonuses and extra armoury. Jeez, did I say arena? Actually, there are 22 arenas, four speed arenas and many, many secret arenas to go through. Say Bob, has anyone ever done them all?".
Bob: "To tell the truth Buzz, no they ain't and it's saved the network one heck of an amount in prize money. Mind you, it costs us a fortune in funerals. Still, as long as it doesn't come out of my salary heh, heh. Folks, there are four types of arenas - Robozone, Dungeonzone, Starshipzone and Rainbowzone. Some of them are straightforward and some have up to eight floors".
Buzz: "You are not wrong Bob and standing in the path to completion folks are the robot guardians. Now these guys may look like dustbins, but you will be dead within 3-2-1 seconds of meeting them".
Bob: "Buzz, you are not only the anchor, you are also one heck of a funny guy. The guardians come in various guises. Some walk, some fly and some of them even go around dropping coins - the contestants should kill them very quickly".
Buzz: "You are not wrong Bob - for a change. Only kidding partner, you're the greatest. So come on down, Cecil Watkinson from Selby". KABOOM!
Poor Cecil. Still, it is not a bad show. There is a lot to go and through it is not sophisticated fayre, Mean Arenas is fun. I will be watching some time next week.