WELL I mean, the Hun should've known better shouldn't they? For a start they hopelessly outnumbered the brave Few, a situation which has not failed to give a result for the Brits in a good few centuries.
Secondly, the venue chosen was the corner of some foreign field, which was very convenient for the RAF lads. They could be very British having a spot of high tea or a game of bowls, pop off for an afternoon's war and then back home for bridge and cocktails in the evening.
Lastly, and most unfortunate of all for the Bosche, was the time penciled in for the big bash to take place - their finest hour. I mean anyone else would've seen it was a complete non-starter, but there you go.
The first thing to do when you get hold of TFH is install the bally thing on your hard drive. Saves all the nasty messing about changing disks, don't you know..
Clamber into the cockpit of your Spitfire or Hurricane and give the foe a jolly good battering. Or, alternatively, you can go and work for Jerry, flying Stukas, Heinkels, Dorniers and the like. God knows they need you, no backbone don't you see - can't even play cricket would you believe.
You'll find the cockpit layouts are fairly accurate, everything in its familiar place. Controls are all on the keyboard but you can use the stick or this new fangled mouse thingy for flight control. No foot pedals or rudder controls. Probably had old Dougie Bader on the design team.
Keep a record of a few of the few on the roster. Sorry, no chalk option. Names and planes is all, but it keeps a running total of missions flown and confirmed kills.
Fly a few training flights to get the hang of things, then move on to proper combat or a full war scenario. Your overall battle strategy will have to be pretty damn cunning what with the Luftwaffe outnumbering you and everything. Plan your campaign on the big map, deciding where and how to scramble.
Eyesight's not what it was old boy, can't quite make out the call sign on a passing Hurricane but I can still distinguish them from a Me109 at about two miles. Something to do with filled polygons and stuff so the technical johnnies tell me.
The wonderful noises of lead ripping through enemy canopy seem different. Rather unimpressive. They tell me you need to have at least one Meg to hear them as well, whatever that means. Pish!
Activating the in-flight camera will give you a permanent record of your best kills. When you come to replay the film due to some devilishly fiendish technical whatnot you can position the camera anywhere you like. Chasing behind your plane, following bombs, from the ground and all that sort of rot, don't you know.
If you decide to go and work for the foe you'll be on double time. They must be short of decent crew, because in the bombers you have to fly the whole thing yourself - cockpit, gunnery, bomb bay - it's a bit of a tall order.
If you go down over the green and pleasant land of the old Dads Army will soon have a pitchfork in your back. No more sauerkraut for you.
The past is a foreign country and all that, so I think we should leave petty jingoism aside. However morally bankrupt the idea is, there is nothing like a good dogfight, and the golden age of dog-fighting was 1940.
Mr Churchill also once said: "Jaw-jaw is better than war-war".
He obviously never played this game.