MACMIXDUNE chewed off the end of his cigar and spat it out. "The Badlands are full of aliens from across time and space. I shall come with you", he said.
"Where are the Badlands?" I asked.
"Turn left after the Nastylands, keep on past the Wickedlands. Before I was an elder I was a geography teacher", said MacMixDune chewing off more of his cigar.
"If you're so smart, why do you like a McDonalds Special?"
BigMacDeal shrugged and climbed into the Phantom Fighter. As I climbed in with him I noticed the loading screen was pretty. Suddenly the Phantom Fighter rushed forward at breakneck speed. It slowed down as a band of angry aliens loomed over the horizon.
"Looks like Psygnosis' Menace" I said.
"Sort of... I suppose". Big
"It's exactly like Psygnosis' Menace, except not so good. Stuff this for a game of soldiers, I'm going back to playing Amiga Elite", I said, parachuting out of the Phantom Fighter. As I drifted down towards home I heard Cheese
Although originality is in short supply nowadays, you can get away with ripping off games like R-Type and Nemesis without shame if you produce a game of arcade quality.
Emerald Software has failed to do this. In fact if you put your nose very close to the manual you can almost smell a hot day in a Korean sweat shop.
The action, if you can call it that, takes place on five horizontally and vertically scrolling screens. Upset aliens swirl around in front of you, leaving icons to give you more fire
At the end of each screen an alien, and usually the same alien, gets mad and spits more flames than a fire eater with a bad cough. How many times have you done this before?
Polish and style is very important, especially in Amiga games; Phantom Fighter is suffering from a distinct lack of both. Using the system text font for the score line is pure laziness. And after the first screen you'll have seen all the aliens - only the background and attack formations change.
Since the main reason people stay glued to their screens is to tackle new aliens, half the fun is lost. Having said that, the backgrounds are very pretty - but the music is terrible.