But that's only because Nick's sense of humour organ was surgically removed when they made him editor. It's actually quite a good gag really because from what I can gather Nemac IV's all about some computer neural network or something.
I say something because as well as the game's storyline having been written in German to start with and then translated by someone who's native tongue is not English, I didn't actually read that much of it. Suffice to say, some computer network or other thinks it's under attack and has mobilised a whole army of security robots to protect itself.
This basically means you're controlling some large robot thing (you in the game) and have to destroy all the computer's defenders (the baddies in the game). Surely that's enough scenario for any Amiga Format reader? [You should stick to telling jokes - Ed]
As you can tell from the screenshots, it's a first-person perspective action game. And as you might expect, it has all the hallmarks of games of that genre. You run around the place, you pick things up (including ammo) and you shoot things. But Nemac IV's slightly different. Not hugely, but ever so slightly. First of all you don't get any more weapons that the ones you start with, namely a chaingun, a plasma gun and a grenade launcher.
The chaingun's the weakest weapon and therefore the one you're going to be using most because you'll have run out of ammo for the other weapons a long time ago, ahem. It's not that bad actually, but isn't the best in the world. The plasma gun's a bit porkier but, again no great surprise here, it has a slower firing rate and the ammo's scarcer.
The grenades are the best though - not only do they have a high firing rate (just keep your finger on the grenade button a bit too long and that stockpile of 50 it's taken you 3 levels to amass is suddenly reduced to six. Doh!), they're deadly too.
Stay around for too long (looking at the map or whatever) and these floaty balls home in and surround you
MONSTER MASH
And so to the types of baddies you're going to be using your ammo on. There are loads of 'em and they come in all sorts of shapes and sizes. Some are cleverer than others too and here's where the designers have been a bit clever themselves, because you don't always know just what the baddies are going to do.
Not everything in the game runs around at full-pelt with its guns blazing. As early as level three you come across some floaty ball things that don't look that dangerous. In fact, they don't even shoot at you. But they can kill. Stand around for too long (looking at the map or whatever) and these floaty balls home in on you and surround you. That might not seem like too much of a problem but it means you then can't move anywhere and the only way out is to shoot one of the floaty things - this then explodes, sets off all the others and there you are. Dead on the floor. Subtle things like this are good.
Another nice feature and one that has been well worked is this barrels lark. If you've played a few of this type of game you'll know that there are often barrels and things that can be shot to cause explosions (usually very handily if there are lots of them in a room full of baddies). One neat touch here though is the player's ability to move the barrels around not only can you blast 'em from afar and hope they catch out some of the baddies in the explosion, but you can move them to where you want them to be and then blast 'em..
This comes in very handy if you know that there's a baddie just around a particular bend in some corridor or other! And while we're on explosions, sort of, another feature that proves to be more useful than you'd first think is that objects get moved around in a blast, thus allowing you to flush out little hiding baddies, for instance.
All of this means the game hangs together very well and is great fun to play
GRAVEYARD SMASH
So what else is new then? There's plenty of emphasis on the puzzling side of things in Nemac IV. Hit a switch to disable something there that allows you to get a little further in the level - you know the sort of thing.
They've even managed to get the old fave in - timing puzzles. Hit a switch here and then you have to leg it right along this corridor before the door shuts. Not particularly dynamic or original even, but it's not overplayed and makes a nice break from the shooting.
Doors are sightly different too. There are plenty of the normal variety - just walk up to 'em and hit a key to open 'em. But on most levels you can usually only open doors marked A, B, and C by finding relevant codes. These codes aren't lying around on the floor or anything but are gained by waling up to computer terminals or by throwing switches or some other such thing. Thankfully your main display shows you what codes you've managed to find and actually coming across them is far more straightforward than you'd imagine.
Another good feature and one that you'll use frequently is the on-screen map. Call this up and it overlays the game's main window (which you can resize and alter the amount of detail on if you find the game's running a little slow on your system) so you can see where you've been and where you're going without getting jumped by the bad guys. The map's mostly useful for showing where things (ammo, health and so on) are lying and where doors that you might have missed are.
Ooh, but quickly back to the shooting thing. It's not a precise science. Most of the time you just have to vaguely point in the direction of a baddie and blast away with your guns. Depending on the strength of the baddie this will usually be enough to knock 'em out. You can't be too blase about it but the level of accuracy is just about right because it works nicely.
Actually it all works nicely. Nemac IV has a wonderful blend of action and puzzles. Every level is just about the right size with the right level of difficulty - starting off nice and gently and getting murderously tough later on. New features are introduced at just the right time and you're not often sat wondering what you're supposed to be doing.
All of this means the game hangs together very well and is immense fun to play (assuming you've got all the kit you need to get the thing going in the first place). Testament (AF 99 90%) was very good indeed and this is even better.
Although you do need to have a decent set-up, you'll find it challenging, atmospheric and very enjoyable. It's too early to include this in the all-time top 100 (you have to sort of 'live with' a game for a while to really get to know it) but time could well judge this game to be very worthy of inclusion in that selective club.