An angel on a Harley moves across to greet a fellow rolling stone. Puts his bike up on the stand and then extends a scarred and greasy hand. He says "Where ya going bro' Whereya been?" Then he takes my hand in some strange Californian handshake that breaks the bone.

Silly question. I mean, where am I going? It's 10 days to Sturgis, the biggest, greatest most bodacious bike rally in the entire U S of A. Better get a move on. Ten days to cross America coast to coast.

There are other things to be taken care of too. Well man, if you're going to turn up at a bro' do, ya gotta look like a bro'. Trade in your sneakers for boots, get into some leathers, get a decent WWII German helmet, ya knows the kind o'thing.

Never mind personal appearance though. I'd better gear up my hog (that's a Harley to you non-believers). Get an uprated engine, better brakes, higher rated tires. Might as well make it look good, so I think I'll go for the custom fenders and a nice eagle head tank.

Course, all this costs bread. Man, ain't there always ants at the picnic. I'm almost completely cashless at this present juncture if you know what I mean. Hell, I jus 'bout got enough to pay for the gas here. Mind you, the babe on the pumps looks cool, maybe I can charm it out of her.

The only way to make some readies is maybe pick up some grateful hitchhikers. Then there's always the biker events at a lot of the towns 'tween here and big "S". A guy can make hisself a hefty packet on a hillclimb, weenie grab or a poker run.

Say what? Ya never heard of a poker run? Well, two bro's line up on their vehicles then zip down the street snatching playin' cards outta the hands of strategically placed chicks. The guy with the best hand at the end of the run wins.

A weenie grab is slightly more interestin'. Ya gets yourself a babe to ride pillion then ride down the circuit. At intervals there'll be a pole across the road with a weenie sausage dangling from it on a piece of string. Your babe's gotta stand up at the right moment 'n' bite the little sucker in half.

There's other fun to be had, but then there's just plain ol' biker jamborees whore a guy can unwind a little, improve his cred with the other bro's and get poleaxed.

It's important to get some rest where ya can on a trip like this. Fatigue takes its terrible tool, 'specially if you's had a few spills. Watch out or ya'll be visiting casualty courtesy of the blue cross instead of struttin' ya stuff in Sturgis.

Watch out now. The road is a tough place where only the true bro' will prevail. Drivers leave all kinds'a crap on the streets. There's tyres, oil, rocks- man, the whole place is a battleground. Watch out for the smokeys too, but you can always arrange to be goin' slow when one of the regular patrols goes past. Treat other drivers with great suspicion and ya won't go wrong.

OK man, hope ya makes it. Above all, have yourself a righteous time.

Anyone involved in the world of Harley-Davidson motorcycles will undoubtedly be familiar with the biker rally in Sturgis, South Dakota. Like the Beetle owners' 'Bug Jam', the Sturgis rally is the place to be once a year for riders of these much-revered two-wheeled machines.

In Mindscape's licence, you play a rider based in Maine who only has ten days to reach Sturgis. Belting down the highway at full pelt is not the way to do it, though - this way you will either come a cropper on a pothole or two and end up in hospital or get picked up by the police for speeding! A couple of bad things that it is best to make sure you avoid.

There are regular stops on the way that will allow you to buy some clothes or even hate a tattoo. If you feel up to it, you can take part in a special event. Take care on the way, be a helpful soul and pick up hitch-hikers if you want, but get to Sturgis on time - the festivities are waiting!

GRAPHICS AND SOUND

The presentation of Harley Davidson is pretty nifty, with some nice digitised pics and location shots, but the actual road sections are not that exciting. The perspective 3D road effect is fair enough, but the sprites are a little limited and are only adequately animated. The sound, too, is a shade weak and could do with perking up.

LASTING INTEREST

Even though there is a long way to go and the events are fun, the actual road-driving that takes up most of the game is pretty repetitive and uninspiring. The feel of a trek on the open road astride a powerful machine doesn't quite reach its full potential and could bore casual bike fans after only a couple of days,

JUDGEMENT

The chance to ride a classic bike across the United States is a romantic and appealing thought, isn't it? Unfortunately, despite its slick presentation and humour (using biker slang at every opportunity), The Road to Sturgis hardly captures the feel at all. What we have is a basic 3D driving game that has a few extra elements thrown in. The special events are worth playing for, and maybe just to dream of doing the run to Sturgis for real will attract some gamers, but ultimately, most Harley fans will find themselves unfulfilled, end up ignoring the conversion and stick to the open road with the real thing.

The tiny town of Sturgis, tucked away in the Black Hills of South Dakota, may seem an odd destination for a loud, greasy Hell's Angel like yourself, but in August Sturgis becomes a Mecca for about 80,000 bikers from all over the world.

Of course there's only one way to travel there: on your sturdy Harley-Davidson (affectionately known as 'Hog'!). Though this can easily reach 100mph, high speed cops patrol the highway, issuing on-the-spot fines to offenders.

The road is also littered with hazards like rocks, puddles and other traffic - too many crashes and you die. You'll also probably want to slow down to pick up a beautiful blonde hitchhiker!

Starting out as a 'Wanna- be' you'll have plenty of time to upgrade your biker rank in the many towns along the way. As well as an essential gas pump, every town has a bike shop where you can buy lots of stuff to repair and customise your bike (better engines, tyres, transmission systems etc) and upgrade your image (a variety of jackets, helmets, boots, animal pelts, sunglasses and even tattoos).

All of these cost money, earned by entering one of five types of biker event:
Slow-Ride Contest: Ride around the road cones in the slowest time possible.
Drag Race: A straight speed race against another biker.
Hill Climb: Ride up a steep hill in the fastest time possible. Go too fast and you'll tip backwards; too slow and you'll fall off.
Poker Run: The strangest card game ever invented. You compete with another biker, collecting playing cards off bikers standing at the roadside. At the finish the best poker hand wins.