ALL you have is a red bike, six gears and the truth. So said Bob Dylan. Well, almost. Honda RVF from MicroStyle has arrived. Silverstone, Brands Hatch, Donnington Park - it has got them. So come on you target for faraway laughter, and ride.
If you fancy yourself as Joey Dunlop or you saw Silver Dream Machine and trashed your moped up and down the block for months, then this is the thing you have been waiting for.
Take your mean machine for a practice before the big race and suss out the circuit. Slide around the bends and gun it down the straights. Watch out for the diesel patches and puddles which slow you down.
Oh no, a hairpin. Slip it down a few cogs and lean hard. Feel your knee scrape the track. Fight for control. Get a good time and you could be in pole position.
The main object is to compete in a championship season consisting of eight races, and to get your licence upgraded so you can race against even better drivers next season.
A championship table is kept and updated each round so you can see how well you are doing. Points are awarded, obviously, depending on which position you finished the race.
I am pleased to point out to members of OASIS - the Organisation Against Sexism In Software - that a female rider is included in the championship. Although it is difficult to tell under all that leather gear. She is quite good, too.
The format is that you do a spot of practice - you do not have to, but it makes it easier - and then race for 5 to 25 laps in each of the eight races. This can take a bit of time and your joystick hand will be well knackered by the end of it. Then you have to do it all over again.
A whole series of championships could take all day to play. Even the most avid biker may be a bit bored by the end of this. Fortunately, there is a Data link option - a parallel one strangely enough - so added enjoyment can be had bumping a friend off the track.
Control is by joystick, which is strange considering the spate of race games offering a mouse control option. Generally, the mouse is more responsive and in some games necessary to beat the best lap times. Of course you need to be superdextrous and have a mouse mat the size of the actual track to use it, but it is nice to have a choice.
If the unthinkable should happen and you lose it on a bend, you stand a good chance of crashing into the assembled detritus at the side of the track. IN a most bone-wrenchingly realistic animated sequence the bike will roll, you will roll, and you will both end up in a heartbreaking heap.
Then what? You get back on, of course. Push start your vehicle and get back in the race. The only damage you are likely to suffer from a head=on with a stationary tree coming in the other direction, apart from wounded pride, is a broken speedo and rev counter, which can be fixed easily in the pits. Of course, real bikers do not need these newfangled gadgets.
Amazing graphics really do give you a good feel of the actual track - hills and all - as you race your Honda past the obligatory red and white kerbstones into the nicely graduated sunset.
Realistic graphics, realistic control, realistic sounds, realistic racing, realistic thrills. So if it is raining out, leave the Superdream in the drive and take your Honda for a spin.