Look Andrea, it's not me that's got the problem with drinking now is it? (Andrea's currently sporting a lovely bruised cheek having, ahem, 'tripped over' late one night after just the one glass of Lambrusco. Allegedly).
Anyway, I've been far too busy playing tennis to go out on the sauce. But yes, I've spent a fair amount of time down in the dirt on the clay courts of this Blitz Basic tennis game (now you'd never have guessed that eh?) which, curiously, refers to itself through the game as Centre Court.
Up to four humans can play (using a joystick adapter), but you won't get them all together for a game of doubles. Blitz Tennis is singles only in either a one-off match or throughout a career of tournaments. Let's embark on a career then. First thing to do is allocate some ability points - you've got the chance to improve certain areas of your game here, your running, your forehand and so on. There aren't many points to chuck around so you're best advised to stick to the basics to start with.
If my player falls over sideways... one more time I'm going to have serious words with him in the dressing room!
Out of control
Then we're in our first game. Unlike a lot of other tennis games, BT doesn't give you a great deal of control over the kind of shot you make. Where your character is in relation to the ball when you hit the fire
This goes for serving too. Press fire and the ball's hoisted in the air, now all you've got to worry about is how long to hold the joystick left or right to send the ball in that direction. Too long and the ball's going way off to one side, too little and it goes down the wrong side of the centre line.
There is the opportunity to make a lob or attempt to play a stop after a lob (that's a new one on me) but that's about it. And that's what's so disappointing about the game. It's fast alright (a tad too fast I reckon) and the computer opponents are sharp, but it soon becomes a hit-and-
It's a fine example of just why the Blitz authoring language is so versatile, but it's not a fine example of a game - and if my player falls over sideways like a girl one more time I'm going to have serious words with him in the dressing room!
Even at under a tenner I'd give this one a miss. Even if you're tempted by 'well, it doesn't sound complicated, maybe little Johnny would enjoy it' thoughts, think again. Johnny would rather have a golf game or something.